Behind the Mask by Fury Tyson

Author:Fury, Tyson [Fury, Tyson]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781473577695
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2019-11-13T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINE

Into the Light

The demons were in my bedroom again, staring at me, whispering to me. They were torturing me and wouldn’t let me sleep. They had me trapped; my mind was imprisoned. It was like I was living in a parallel universe. I was separated from the real world but there was a genuine sense that a demonic power had me locked in chains. I was hearing voices in my mind, and there was a conversation going on, arguing back and forth. I know it sounds unbelievable but that’s what I felt was actually happening to me. I couldn’t sleep properly for days at a time and the torture went on for months on end.

This was my state of being during the blackest days of my battle with mental health. I could be fast asleep when I would suddenly hear a whistle that would wake me up. The next moment I’d see these demons at the window. I was terrified. I was the heavyweight champion of the world and I was scared for my life.

When someone says they have mental health issues and they can’t explain why, or what they are properly going through, it is really important to just listen and have a sympathetic ear. For them, the torture is real even if it doesn’t sound plausible to the everyday person with a relatively normal life. This was the reality of my life; this was how I was going through agony on a daily basis and I just wanted to escape, to find a release. But it felt like there was no way out. I was cornered by something that was out of my control.

I could normally handle anything that came my way. If there was an issue to deal with, I would handle it. I’m afraid of no man, but this was different. It was an awful place to be in with what felt like no solution, except to hope that I would die in my sleep and not have to wake up and face another morning of torture. At night I would often go into my garage and down some cans of beer to try and make sure I would get to sleep as quickly as possible, so I wouldn’t have to face the terror of the voices, and the faces. I just couldn’t handle it.

By now I was 28 stone and heart-attack material. I would have given anything for a normal state of mind and a chance to return to the real world. The scary thing is, it could have been even worse. During this time, I spoke to a psychologist and explained to her about the voices that I had been hearing in my head. She asked me, ‘Were they good or were they bad voices?’ I said mixed. She went on to tell me that she had had a friend who had heard voices and had ended up setting himself on fire and killing himself. That’s the power of the mind; that’s how dark and frightening life can become for those struggling with these issues.

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